Letting Go

In my past posts, I've told everyone how clingy Yanna is to me. It was tough, draining at times, even made me lose weight (the best part of it!). I've been looking forward to the day when she will let other people hold her, carry her and play with her.

Lately, Yanna has been very sociable. Thanks to our long stay with my in-laws here in Bicol. She lets them carry her once in a while but she still clings to me oftentimes. When she sleeps beside me, she no longer needs to nurse all the time when she wakes up at night. She can now soothe herself back to sleep without my help. Such a big improvement!

I should be jumping with joy right? This means more sleep and bed space for me, less tired arms, a little more time to myself. But you know what, I feel a sudden pang in my heart whenever she prefers being carried by my sister-in-law or when she rolls away from me during sleep. This only happened a few times but I'm still bothered. I find myself thinking " Oh my. She's starting to need me less". And I try to hide my dismay over it.

I'm crazy right? This is what I want to happen and now I realize I'm the one having a hard time letting go of my baby. Oh, she's not a baby anymore.

I know I have to let go. She needs to learn independence as she grows older. This is good for her. I need to learn to be independent from her too. I know it will take time. Right now all I want to do is treasure our time together and when she starts clinging again, I will hold her like there's no tomorrow.